Terry & Process

Terry loves process. Processes are necessary in order to build & deliver consistent services but process for process' sake is bad.

It always amazes me how many processes are required to get anything done with Terry. This process bloat seriously hampers the time taken to get a service to market. I've lost count of the number of projects where there appears to be more delivery (aka process) managers than there are people actually delivering the product or service.

Every now and again I hear that the bloat will be stripped away (along with the associated middle management) but it always creeps (often runs) back in and we're back to process bloat in no time.

Maybe it's because Terry is very comfortable when he has a process to follow - it's like a comfort blanket for him, he doesn't need to think for himself he's just following the process or maybe it's a symptom of a large company where people have to find someway to appear useful & important in order to perpetuate their justification for being employed?

Dilbert & Terry (2)

Allen is Terry!

Meetings

Terry loves meetings. A day full of meetings is a very predictable
way of spending another day in the office, or even a day at home when they are held via teleconference.

However, meetings can be deceptive just like e-mail. They can give the false satisfaction of a good days work when little has really been achieved.

It always surprises me when I attend a meeting that is full of lots of people yet only a small number of the attendees ever speak. The organiser often seems to have invited everyone under the sun and I am never sure whether this is because they want to avoid offending anyone by not inviting them, or just that they've invited everyone they know to justify having a meeting.

I am always amazed that people also seem to have the time to attend meetings where they don't contribute, maybe they just like attending meetings even if they're not relevant to their work or maybe they're in the wrong place but too embarrassed to 'fess up. The other day I was sat in a meeting and just as it was about to start someone rushed in and sat down. We did some introductions and it was clear that he was in the wrong room as his job was completely different to everyone else's. As the meeting was just a meet & greet I didn't say anything and neither did anyone else. It was almost an hour before he realised he was in the wrong place. Incredible!

Terry Cloth

Terry’s dress code is one of conformance. He must not stray from the standard issue outfit comprised of a sensibly nice grey (or other monochromatic color scheme) suit from M&S and a matching tie. Once every ten or fifteen years Terry makes a periodic trip to his local M&S, buying two pairs of trousers and one jacket to ensure it will last until his next trip. He prefers mixed wool/polyester as it tends to outlast pure wool, or sometimes 100% polyester as it is cheaper. Terry wears sensible black leather shoes with this outfit – just like the ones his mum bought him when he was a schoolboy.

Changing any of these things (or any other kind) would be very upsetting to Terry. He will not deviate from this Plan of Record. Deviation from this standard outfit upsets Terry as it might result in discord and discontent. Terry is Change Averse. Terry likes to wrap himself in his warm and safe Terry Cloth.

Opening up access to the blog

As you may have noticed I am struggling to find the cycles to keep the blog up to date so I am opening it up for others to post.

If you would like to become a terrytelco.com blogger just e-mail your details and short overview of what you could bring to terrytelco.com and I may add you as an author

Pipe Dreams

Terry likes selling bandwidth pipes. It's something he can understand because selling bandwidth pipes is pretty similar to selling circuits and Terry has been selling circuits his entire life.

However, Terry needs to stop just selling pipes and start to sell services. Pipes are a commodity business with low (and ever decreasing) margins. Services are where the revenues are, pipes are just a means to deliver the services.

If Terry doesn't start to sell high margin services as well as pipes then someone else will be selling the high margin services and keeping the revenue to themselves leaving Terry with just his low margin pipes. In fact it's already happening and Terry is at risk of being left behind before he even starts.

Terry-O-Meter

I have added a Terry-O-Meter to the left hand side of the page which I will use to show my current level of frustration caused by Terry.